Friday, January 11, 2008

A Great Imaginative Ragging

Something Related to our Ragging time in Hostel. During Ragging, no one is allowed to laugh or even express their feelings and views. One is just supposed to do as told by any senior.

Being freshers, we are assumed to be Indian Public Property (and everyone knows what state of condition is Indian Public Property in... Or do I need to mention it??).

However, I really admire one Hostel senior of mine... He actually has immense imagination. He demonstrated it to us by these two incidents.

For now, I'll discuss the first incident.

Incident One, Sometime in October

Location:
Room no. 109
Situation: Lots of Seniors Sitting on two beds. There is some narrow space between the beds. Two or three are smoking. Juniors (namely us) were crouched together in one corner. Now our imaginative Senior puffs out smoke and welcomes a junior (poor lad)

Imaginative Senior (IS) ::> Hey ######### (Censored. Sorry it's too heavy) Come here.

He unsuspecting goes to him. IS suddenly jumps up and pushes him hard. The Poor Junior is thrown over to another small group of equally poor juniors.

IS::>
Why Can't you see that Bike Mata (Motorcycle godess) is sitting here!!! Why you... trample her!!! You can't show proper respect to the almighty!! (Points at space between the two beds)

Poor Junior 1 (PJ1) ::> Sorry Sir. This won't happen again.

IS ::> What sorry. Bow to Bike Mata and beg for forgiveness.

PJ1 ::> (Innocently goes near the space, but careful not to go on it. He bows down religiously in front of bike mata) O Almighty Bike Mata. This scum of earth (Laughter all over) begs thee of mercy and forgiveness (Seniors Rolling over and Laughing. Juniors too want to laugh, but control due to dire consequences otherwise... ). Please Listen to this un-pure disciple and forgive him.

IS ::> Hey!! Scum of Earth! You're too close to her... Get away! You'll Dirty her!! And then She'll have to take bath... that too in Ganges.

PJ moves Back a bit

PJ1 ::> O Bike Mata. I the ultimate scum of earth (Laugh) now offers you prayers

IS ::> Oye!! You scum of earth (laugh) How dare you even think of offering her your prayers!! Get Lost you!!

PJ1 Gets lost amongst a group of Juniors near him.
After another few who are unable to give proper forgiveness and are largely copying PJ1. The Seniors call PJ6, who has also been given the title of Dalla rickshaw wala (Laugh).

IS ::> Oye!! The Rickshaw wala has come!! Oye you are one great disciple... you'll perform a whole puja.

PJ6 ::> (Spreads out his hands as if he was holding a plate) O Bike Mata, Please...

IS ::> What's this please?!! Never seen guys talk to god while giving puja. People Sing Bhajans and chant Mantras. I'll forgive you because you're a illiterate rickshaw wala. (Laugh)

PJ is now in a fix. :) More so because he can't get any ideas.

PJ6 ::> S S Sir... I I can't... I I d don't know any bh bh bhajans.

IS ::> Well? Do something proper...

PJ6 ::> O Bike Mata. I Hope you to keep running on forever and give a great mileage.

IS ::> Is that all you ########## (Censored again, Sorry). You don't want bike mata to grow up and become big?

PJ6 ::> (This time he has some idea) O bike mata, I hope you quickly grow up and carry more and more riders.

(Some data removed due to extremeness in its contents...)

IS ::> (shouts) What kind of a disciple are you? OK. At least offer her something. You can't go from here until you offer her some thing. Break a coconut or do whatever. Just make it proper.

PJ6::> (Pretending to hold a coconut, Raises his right arm and brings it in one quick movement to the ground and makes a noise) Phat.

IS ::> What was that!! Are you smashing coconuts or balloons??

PJ6 ::> C C Coconut S Sir.

IS ::> Well, then at least make it sound like a coconut.

PJ6 ::> (Repeats the previous action) Bhadaam!

IS ::> Oye!! You're supposed to be breaking a coconut not explode a bomb!

Another Senior ::> He sounds like a terrorist attacking the bike mata temple... Throw him out. He is a threat to our faith!!

IS ::> Yes, Get out before I throw you into a sewer.

Now comes in my call... god save me.

IS ::> Selenium! Give a puja.

Me ::> (Seeing PJ6 fried very well, I pretend holding a bell in left hand and a diya (lamp) in right... I start to sing)

O Bike Mata Jaldi Badi Ho Jao (O Bike Goddess, Grow up quickly)
O Bike Mata Tum Badi Gadi Ho Jao (O Bike Goddess, Become a big vehicle quickly)
O Bike Mata Accha Mileage do (O Bike Goddess, Give a good Mileage)
O Bike Mata Driver ka Bhala karo (O Bike Mata, Do good to the Driver)

IS admires... people whistle and hoot ^__^ Things going out fine for now.

IS ::> See this is one great pujari!!! He's awesome dude. Now now, continue with the puja. You know what to do...

Me ::> (Ya, right... I again do that coconut stance, I've run out of ideas x_x) Bang!!

IS ::> Oye ########## (Censored... I think you're used to it now. ) Why did you shoot bike mata!!! You murder...

Me ::> (Game over x_x) I I sir, well, didn't shoot, it's the coco...

IS ::> Heck. Coconuts don't sound like guns... What voilent is this generation. Then do puja with guns and bazooka (So this guy knows about bazookas too... I'm impressed...)

Me ::> (Now completely blank o_O . I just bow down) O Bike Mata, I've been blessed by you I hope that this disciple of yours continues to receive your blessing.

IS ::> That was Lame!! Get lost you vermin...

*****

In the end... I really liked the Bike Mata Idea. How ones imagination can help make really funny situations... this one story is heavily reduced as 80% of this can't be shared publicly... ^^;;;