When...

When life seems to run out of options,

Remember me my friend.

For it was me who as always beside you,

Waiting, for you to reach the end.

When times seem to run ahead of you,

Come back to me my friend.

For you don't have to race it,

I'm a gift that God has send.

When things don't go your way,

Let me lead you down a different path.

For, you are my only existence,

And I am your conscience.

============================================

Something I wrote down in the office. I'm now feeling what it feels like to have nothing to do. :-/

I have problems with net connectivity at home (I don't even have a fixed home right now... -__- ), but I pray that I get out of these predicatements as soon as possible.

The laptop company gave me won't let me install any browser except IE8, so surfing properly is also an issue here... :( The laptop  is nice otherwise :)

Under a night sky

Copyrights, Selenium Glow :) (This image is the intro image.)

Do you believe in fantasies?
Do you believe that your dreams are a part of your own soul?
Do you believe that your dreams are a display of what your soul desires?
Do you believe that your dreams are a fallacy of god, an error that enables you to see through the fabric of space and time surrounding us?
Do you believe?
Or are you the kind that can never believe... not even themselves.

It is execptionally dark. Usually in cities, no corner escapes the bright night life of the civilization that is at it's peak.
But, just like a cloud with a silver lining, a city too has it's dark spots.
It's execptionally dark. She breaths the cold winter air. It's so cold that she wouldn\'t have inhaled it if she had an option.
But she had no option. She had to inhale. She had to breath the air to live. But why did she want to live? The only answer she could think was...

"Because I have no other option eh?"

==========================
Or so what I wrote on the intro of the VN I was programming. That has now come to a hold as I now have to take my job training seriously... -__-;

The moonlit sky image is what I made using that clouds brushes that I posted about last time. The Moon is taken from a photograph that my brother took of the night sky some time back. :)

I'll have less and less due to training and what not (miss my manga/anime T__T ) time but I'll try to keep posting here.

P.S - Oh. Yes, I liked the new draft.blogger page. It's very new and refreshing. :) Did you fellow blogger like it as well?

Clouds n Stuff

Well, long long time ago, I tried to make clouds using Photoshop. I thought it would be hard, so I tried to make some using 3D software. Not an easy task either. So?

So, I give up temporarily and decide to do some outdoor observation. After quiet a lot of sky gazing, I downloaded some tutorials on how to make clouds. I also downloaded some plugin for my 3D software which would allow me to make clouds. I tried the 3D software first. and the results weren't something I was happy with. :-/  Well, these two were what I came out with. Later, I would realize that the technique I used to make the clouds wasn't the best, and the actual technique I needed to used meant that I had to wait 20 minutes for one frame to render into an image that you see below. Ah! I realize I need a faster computer...

The first trial to make Clouds in 3D software. That obelisk is just to add some subject to the image...

This is the second trial. This time I tried playing the the position of the sun and some color effects for the obelisk.

Well, then I downloaded some tutorials to make clouds on Photoshop. Once again not an easy task if you lack patience. I tried to follow the tutorial and finally came up with this image.

Made using the original tutorial. No shortcuts used while making this one. It's completely from scratch.

But I realized that patience is something that few people have. Sadly, I'm not in that few... -__-;;
So, I Google, and find that there are some preset cloud brushes/textures available for download, that can be used with Photoshop to make some quick but good looking clouds. So, I download all that I could, and then create a new image. My first trial (without using layers or effects) at using these presets gave me this image.

Created in under 7 minutes using Photoshop.

Well, looks very impressive ne? Even if there isn't any bit of realism, even than it's very pleasant looking to my eyes. As long as something looks good, people will rarely question the amount of realism in it. As I wrote this blog, I created a night scene (again unrealistic) with lots of stars and stuff and a full moon. But I made that image while programming a visual novel... so I'll post that later.

Until then, Ciao. :)

-------------------------
Photoshop brushes used in the last image are credited to the following.

1) leboef.deviantart.com
2) Milinda Design - www.milinda.eu

My first Tablet sketch.

When I first purchased my (ultra cheap and local) drawing tablet in February, the first thing I ever did with it was to trace an image of Saber from the Fate/Hollow Ataraxia Visual Novel.

Original Wallpaper of Saber. There was a similar scene in the original "Fate/Stay Night" Novel

I used Adobe Illustrator CS 4 to do the tracing process. That time, it took me about an hour, but that time, I felt very satisfied with what I had done.

My Tracing for the above wallpaper.

However, do note that this is probably the most lousy trace you'd come across on the net. :-/ The lines are not clean and there are too many minor errors. In other words, this isn't something one would sit to seriously color. But yes, I have to admit, even tracing out many images is fun. It is hard work to do it nicely and professionally, but still, it's fun :)

The next image I traced was of a Wallpaper from "Jigoku Shoujo" (or Hell Girl).

Original Wallpaper of Enma Ai.

My (well) traced version. It's PNG. You can download and try coloring it yourself if you want ;)

In this trace, I specially tried to make sure the lines were cleanly done and that it was colorable. The complete tracing process alone took me about 3 hours, and the hairs were the toughest thing I had to tackle in this wallpaper. I even tried to color it, but then I was stumped when I had to do a background and work on highlights... -___- Copying things is turning out to be pretty hard work, I can only imagine how difficult it is going for me to make my own original creations... but I'm actually looking forward to that challenge.

The only trace that I've managed to color myself is this one. Also right now, I've traced an image of Belladandy and her two sisters (from the series Oh! My Goddess). I've already done the base coloring, but because I had some greeting cards to make for my friends upon their request, I couldn't quiet pick it up to completion. But I will complete it and post it on my blog :D

Belladandy and Her two sisters. More about them later. Color them if you want ;)

5 Weeks Later...

I originally wrote this as a facebook note. Here it is, in blogger where it should really be. Somehow, I don't like the Facebook notes thing. :-/ I have just copied and pasted the whole thing. Just remember while reading this, that this was originally written on May 10, 2011. This is the date that actually came 5 weeks later...

=======================

For the past 5 or so weeks, I've been giving 15 to 20 minutes daily trying to "Cel shade" a Sketch. The sketch isn't entirely my own original creation. I was watching the opening sequence of some animated series (it was "AIR"). I came across a scene where a girl was spreading out her arms. I took a snapshot and then decided to remake this in my way...

TV Original

Yes... easier said than done... specially by a guy who still isn't comfortable with digital inking and coloring...
Nonetheless, I accepted this challenge I put myself through... and then traced out the girl and the birds... or some birds... I couldn't do all of them... using Adobe Illustrator. I finally had this.

Traced in Adobe Illustrator

Things going nicely so far. But then I realized how difficult coloring was. I had to read and learn a lot of theory (yes... UPTU grade theory) on coloring, mixing and cel shading. I tried applying it on this outline, and somehow, it worked.
Many Many days later, I finally had this.

Colored version 1

But I realized the hair was too flat. On comparing with the Original, I find that I haven't outlined the hairs properly... :-/ It's an ultimate proof of either my carelessness or laziness... oh well... I draw the outlines in photoshop itself (instead of Illustrator) My untidy and unstable work is evident now...

Colored version with messy hair outlines...

Upto this point, I was coaxing myself for not being good enough with coloring and sketching. I told myself that cel shading is difficult and needs hard work... But what I found really really difficult and time consuming was the background. It's not easy to paint clouds realistically and above all - Beautifully. I had a lot of problems doing the clouds. I mostly copied the pattern of the original image. But this drove me nuts... Still I was able to make something.

My Final Version with these... umm... clouds.

I've done even a more lousy job with the background. The colors are out of control... the "Glare" effect is done badly... and the clouds look so... so... errmm... I don't even have the proper word to describe it's incompleteness or unrealism.

To conclude this note, I think I've learnt many new things in Photoshop and Illustrator alike, but above all... I realized I've a long way to go before I even dream of becoming a pro in digital arts... :-/
5 Weeks later... I feel morbidly discouraged... T__T

=================================
And thus, this concludes what I posted on facebook a long time ago. Well, this was my first attempt at coloring a complete frame myself. It was hard work...

P.S. - Yes, despite my negative post on Facebook, I did receive a lot of encouragement. Thus, I'm now in lookout for some more interesting frames that i can remake... :D

Hiatus?

Long long time ago, I said I will never rant about any of my personal problems in my blog.

Today, I won't rant as well :P

Well. I haven't posted anything on my blog since December (which I don't know is a long time or not... ) but the only reason (and it's valid as well) was because my final semester kept me more preoccupied than I thought it would. Well, now all that is over, and once again in 5 years I'm at a cross road in my life. Even though I have decided which path I want to finally take, there is always this insecurity about oneself that make you look back at the other turns of life and wonder... "Is this the right way?"

For starters, let me tell you what I've been doing these last 6 months...

1) Learning - Lots of Graphics Software. From 3D modelling and animation suits to (so called simple) stuff like Photoshop and Illustrator.
2) Planning - My way ahead in life... It kinda sucks when you realize you still have an year of two of studies left...
3) Discovering - Myself. This was probably the toughest thing I did in these 6 months. I realized that though I had potential for Electronics and stuff... I really didn't enjoy it. So, that one road of the cross road I won't take.
4) Writing - A diary. I took out that diary after some 5 or 6 years. When I read what I had written in the past, I was amazed how depressed I used to be. Sometimes I still am, but no to that level. Anyways, that diary was once again filled with some of my most negative emotions. And now that I think about it, I kinda understand why do I feel so insecure in the first place about my future... :-/
5) Drawing Pads - This time, for my birthday, I requested a Stylus/Drawing Pad that I could use for cell shading and sketching directly to my computer. IT'S FUN :D :D :D

Well, that sums up. I haven't really given up or dropped my music domain yet. But it's true I'm not making too many tunes now... I'm now more focussed on my Graphic Skill, something that I've genuinely begun to enjoy doing now :)
I hope to make wonderful things that I can post in this blog... but for now, I'll only be able to post my trials, experiments and mistakes... :-/

P.S - Ah. I forgot to mention. The new background in my Blog is the fruit of my new skills in Photoshop :) This (Unnamed) Blue Planet has been made from scratch thanks to a wonderful tutorial available on the internet.

Building up your ideas...

I don't have a story, or a poem, or even a new music to post here. And it's all because I'm having more ideas coming into my head in a given time, and it's causing a serious mixup here. So this time around, I'll rant a bit in this blog.

Well, I had an idea to write a argument/dialogue between a Camera man and an Artist (read, my brother and me :P ) standing on the foot of a hill with majestic windmills rotating majestically in an autumn morning. I also had an I idea about a working guy who one day leaves his home, his wife, his kids, his mom and goes off with his camera on a long long drive. Then, I had this morbid idea of a vampire and a traditional demon having some kind of a holiday in "Hampy", the ruined former capital city of a former middle age kingdom of Vijaynagara, now somewhere in Karnataka. (I went there with my family this Durga Puja Holidays... and I was completely captivated by this large ruined city. I just didn't want to go back home) Only that there is a deep purpose of this holiday, and ends in a jaw dropping conclusion. Looking at the outlines of the last one, it'll take me at least 60 pages or more to write it down... so I did what I was born to do - Be lazy, and avoid writing it for as long as possible -__-

Then, I even had this idea of writing about a childhood experience of mine with a small street puppy who became a playmate of mine for a brief time period... until in died of cold. Only that, the story was to written from the puppy's point of view.

Yes, there are no end of ideas... there is no end to my laziness in penning them or typing them down either. I think I'll buy an online version of "How to overcome Laziness" on amazon and have my Adobe Reader read it out aloud for me...

The Reader (Innocent version)

After the Check-in, the security checks and what not, I was allowed to walk into the waiting lounge of the New Delhi Domestic Airport. The shops didn't attract much of my interest, so I had two hours of time to waste before boarding my flight to Bangalore. I went upto the food court there, took a Zinger meal form KFC, and found myself a seat overlooking the airport view outside. Though it was a domestic airport, I personally thought it was a grand view. Passenger Aircrafts like Boeing 737s are about two stories high, but watching them from a higher place up, that too through the unobstructed view of the glass panel walls of the airport terminal - it feels like you're some King overlooking the majestic view of your Empire.

I stuffed in my headphones into my ears, played some soft Japanese Music (Noto Mamiko, by the way, she sang the ending themes for Hell Girl :D ) and took out my Notebook and Pen. I thought I'd write some fiction. But writing fiction isn't an easy task. I need to have a plot, then I'd require to cook up some situations that'd force my characters of the story to follow my plot, and some finer points that a writer should never neglect, had to be taken into mind too. After some though, I started writing something.

I don't know how much time had passed, but some four pages later, I heard someone say "Are you a writer Mister?" I turned around and found a girl of about 10 or 11 years of age looking at me. She was extremely fair, and her accent told me that she wasn't an Indian kid.
"No, I'm not a writer, but an Engineer. But I like to write some stuff up in my free time." I replied.
"You are not a writer... but you like to write..." she said in a doubtful tone with a face filled with an expression of curiosity.
"Yes, I like to write down my thoughts in free time sometimes." I tried to help her train of thoughts. She turned her eyeballs away with her small fingers over her lips. Then she suddenly looked at me again.
"So you write a Diary?" she said with a questioning tone. It turns out I totally derailed her thoughts... or wait. Were they on track at all?
"No, I write stories that build up in my  mind."
"So, you are a writer after all!" Her face suddenly brightened up. "So tell me Mister! Tell Me. Do you write good stories?" The brightness was too much for me, so I looked away from her to resume my own train of thoughts which by now seemed to be low on fuel. She asks me if I write good stories or not. Truth be told, no one ever read the stories I wrote so I didn't know if I should praise myself. I had no first hand proof or recommendation that my stories were any good. 'How am I supposed to know if I'm a good writer or not??' was the question that ultimately kept hitting me. But I finally thought of something to reply to her.
"I can't say, because no one reads my stories." To this answer, she made a curious looking expression.
"If no one reads your stories, why do you write them?" She asked me bluntly and innocently. But her bluntness to say, was sharp enough to pierce through my chest.
"Well young girl. You see, not everyone writes for others to read. Some people, like myself for example, write for self-satisfaction. I guess a girl of your age won't understand." No sooner I said my last few words, her expression changed suddenly. She turned angry and her pitch rose up.
"But I know. I'm not wrong! My Mom is a famous writer and she told me she has to write so that other people read them. My Mom can't be wrong!" I was considerably taken aback by this retaliation. One or two families sitting around us started looking at us. But my thought process started again. She was the daughter of some famous writer... so how many female writers I know who had Kids? My rather primitive brain didn't have enough information or resource, so it gave up thinking about this rather quickly.
"Well, your Mom is right. Writers write so that other people read them. But I'm an exception. I write for myself. Other people may not like what I write." She partially returned to normal. I guess she had a mother complex.
"But how can you say they won't like it if you don't let people read it?" she was now becoming exceedingly difficult for me to handle.
"Ok. So why don't you read one or two of them to decide for yourself if I'm good or not. I can't say I'm good, but at least you can see for yourself." and to this suggestion, her face brightened up again. She jumped over the two seats separating us to the seat next to me.
"Please Please show me your stories." I had a tough time trying to stop her from not falling off during her jumps.
"Ah! Wait. I'll search for a story that'll you may like." and having said this I started searching for a suitable story. 20 seconds into the search I realized all my stories were adult. Probably because I'm still single or something but somehow, unknowingly all my stories had something significantly adult. I couldn't make her read these kind of stories. But soon enough, I found something suitable for her. I handed her my notebook with that page open. She took it with much enthusiasm. But soon she made a troubled face.
"Is something wrong? The story not good?" I asked her naturally expecting her to reply 'Horrible.' or 'Hideous'.
"No. I can't understand what's written. It looks English, but I can't make out the words. It's a very bad handwriting." she replied promptly. I never felt as embarrassed or ashamed over my handwriting as I was feeling now. Even though I've been reprimanded by my parents and my countless teachers about it, only this small 11 year old could take my feeling of shame to a totally new height.
"Well then, let me read it out to you. I'm sorry for my bad handwriting though." I said, trying not to think heavily about it. She gave a smile immediately and handed me my notebook.
"Yes Please!" was her response. I was temporarily stunned. This girl didn't think my handwriting was an issue. She just wanted to listen to a story. That's all.
"But before I start, tell me why would you want to read my story when your Mom would have written far better stories?" I asked her. But she became silent.
"She writes good stories..." and then she looked at me with big innocent eyes "...but I can't understand most of them. I mean... she works so hard to write them and all... but they are all sad..."
"Well, don't think too much about it." I cut her short. I got the feeling she couldn't tell her mom that she didn't like her stories or didn't want to read stories that are probably for more mature audiences or types that she doesn't like. Simply put, she won't say something that'll hurt her Mom. "OK. Now, pay attention to my story. Promise me you'll tell me if it was good or bad. OK?"
"OK." She smiled again.

Then I told her a story that was a total mix of Harry Potter and Star Trek. I tried to act out the dialog so that she could take interest in the story. Every time I tried doing so, she'd laugh out in giggles. Finally I don't know how long it had been, but the story was over in what I assume was 20 minutes. Her beaming face was blinding my eyes. "Mister, this story was very very Interesting. You should let other people read your stories!!"
"Ah! Well... I guess I can then."
"Mister! You have more stories right? Please tell me more stories." and she got upto my lap. Her cute face was directly staring, or rather pleading to me.
"OK. Relax. I think I have another here." I turned the page hoping to find a story suitable for a 11 year old girl. I think I did, but 5 minutes into the story, I realized she fell asleep, resting herself on my right arm. I sighed. It must have been a boring story that she fell asleep. I didn't move... I just sat still so that i didn't wake her up. Her Mom must be here somewhere and it would be bad if this little girl out of excitement or curiosity or whatever mighty lord put in her head,  started chasing after me.

I looked out at the view in front of me. The airplanes were taxiing, and some were preparing for take off. But their movement felt like some video game screen where I could control which plane had to move, which ones had to take off or which one had to be sent for repairs. But soon, I rejected my thought because it started resembling like some Facebook game my friends played non stop. 15 minutes after she fell asleep, a lady called out "Excuse me!". I turned around. It was a foreigner lady.
"Ah! Are you this girl's mother?" I asked her immediately before she could accuse me of being a kidnapper or a child abuser or what not.
"Yes. Is she asleep?" she asked me with a concerned face.
"Well, yes. I'm afraid my last story must have been boring." and then I told her everything that had happened up till now before she could turn any of my aforementioned fears into reality. It turned out that she believed my story... well, I told her the truth anyway.
"I'm sorry my daughter has caused you so much inconvenience." she said in a friendlier tone than before.
"No. No. She is a very cute and very adorable child. I'm afraid I'm the one who must have caused you some worry." I tried to be very formal and very Gentleman-like.
"No. I'm happy that you took care of her. I wanted her to eat her Salad but she doesn't like them and ran away from the food court. I tried searching throughout the waiting area but couldn't find her. I was about to make the authorities make an announcement about her, but I caught a glimpse of her from a distance."
"Good that you came about. I must mention she is very proud of you."
"Ah! Is she?" She giggled in a similar manner.
"Yes. Even though she thought I was a writer, and wanted me to read out my stories, she still considers you to be the best."
"Well. I'm a professional writer, but recently I've hit the writer's block. I was frustrated and couldn't pay much attention to her. My editor let me take a leave, so I could come here to get over it. But I guess my breakup with my husband is still weighing down on me even though it's been quiet some time."

And then the announcement about my flight's final boarding call was made. I gently pushed the little girl away from my right arm as her mother picked her up. I picked up my bag, took my notebook and tore the pages of the story I had narrated to the little girl.
"Here take this. This is the story that your daughter liked. I'm sure she'd want to read it later on."
"But... isn't it your material... I mean you're a writer too. Right?" she said in a hesitating tone.
"No no. I'm just an engineer who writes sometimes for his feeling of self satisfaction." I said. She was hesitant, but she ultimately took the sheets form me. I then immediately rushed to get to Gate No. 9 to board my flight.
"But Mister. May I know your name?" she called out from behind. I turned around.
"Try writing a story your daughter will like for a change, rather than what your audience would like. I'm sure your daughter will love it and it'll help you get over your writer's block. Bye!" I said and ran off to catch my flight to Bengaluru.

===============================================

Author's Notes
-----------------------

This is a completely fictional story I started writing when I had to wait for two hours at the New Delhi Airport for my Flight. I initially thought I'd write a Description of this Amazing new Domestic Terminal, but somehow the notebook I had was filled up with story about some girl that didn't exist.

Come to think of it, the guy at KFC didn't notice my presence (and hence didn't take my order), let alone a cute 11 year old girl. :P

Plus, I wanted to write something like the way Ruskin Bond writes... hence this rather... Ordinary story. But if you're reading this far out in this post... Thanks for reading :)

P.S. - I also notice I've written a shorter story compared to my other works :)
P.P.S - I've italicized the dialogs for ease of reading.

The Garden of Sinners (Kara no Kyoukai)

Recently, I've been watching (or to be more exact, I've somehow managed to watch) some anime on a regular basis, which given my style of life and routine is something very difficult for me...

However, once again I've come across a series called "Kara no Kyoukai (Boundary of Emptiness)" better known in English as "The Garden of Sinners". Cause it's troublesome typing, I'll refer to this series as KnK. (Please bear by it...)

Now, KnK was actually a series of 7+3 Light Novels written by Nasu Kinoko. He's the same guy who authored and wrote the story for Shingetsutan Tsukihime (Lunar Legend Tsukihime or Lunar Legends) and Fate/Stay Night. I was primarily attracted by the title, but I started watching this series because I saw Nasu's name. I like Tsukihime and I'm a die hard fan of Fate/Stay Night (Saber!!! <3 )... So I knew I just had to watch this.

So, I start watching the first Movie/Episode - KnK : Overlooking View.

BTW, these screen shots are not in chronological order, so that the reader may not be able to guess what the story is and to avoid possible spoilers....

 A series of suicides done by very normal High School Girls begin to happen from the rooftop of some Fujyou Buildings. Shiki (protagonist) goes to the murder scene of the 5th victim and concludes next day that 8 are supposed to die. However, when she is not on time to save the 7th victim, will she become the 8th victim herself? There are 4 main characters in this movie, namely Mikiya (Shiki's close Friend), Shiki (Protagonist), Touko Aozaki (Supporting Role {Hidden Mastermind}) and the Antanoist, the owner of the building.

Now, coming to why I liked it, and consider it good enough to post on my blog.
1) The Artwork and Animation. Done by ufotable, the animation is something that was beyond what I expected it to be. The art was flawless, the expressions of characters excellently made, and the animation was very very fluid and smooth. Even the 3D parts of it were awesomely and seamlessly done. 10/10 for that.
2) Characters. The Characters came out very strong. I wasn't drawn by the story as much as I was drawn by the character of Shiki and to some extent Touko. The characters were displayed with such detail and beauty that I must confess I was captivated. Also, Shiki is one badass, no nonsense girl :D
3)Dialogues. The dialogues were deep and highly impressive. While some discussed philosophy of souls and bodies, some described the current situation or maybe a fact of life... but whatever dialogues were spoken out, they are not wasted and the visuals are not wasted either. Like the Intro Credits helps us understand the deep dialogue between Shiki and Mikiya at the end... I'll repeat what I said in short. The Dialogues were impressive and some were awesome.
4)Background and Ending Score. The Music for all the movies was made by Yuki Kajiura (Yes, you can click her name for more info). Need I say more... :) As of today, the ending theme "Oblivious" is already my song of the month.

As for the story... it was good, but the above points completely overshadowed it. So, that becomes a minus point. In rating an Anime or Movie, the story should be the first thing the viewer should notice.

Overall, I rated the first move 8/10. My friend Mr. V rated it at about 7.8/10. So, it's definitely worth watching (at least once if you don't like foreign language movies or Anime.). However, the first and second movies are OK, the third movie takes the level of violence to a higher level and also has brief nudity. It becomes an overall 18+ series there on, so those who don't like 18+ stuff (I know a few in real life... ) shouldn't take the effort to even try it. At the most watch upto the first 2 movies only then.

The Second Movie is about the Relationship between Shiki and Mikiya and also a tragic past Shiki had. It also tells about why Shiki has such a dark character.

The Third Movie is all about Shiki and her Badass character. It goes deeper into why she is the way she is. Also, there is an equally badass Antagonist. Due to the level of adult stuff in it... this movie alone takes the series to over 18+ ratings.

I'm yet to watch the others right now, but I've enjoyed these three movies a lot and am planning to complete this series now. It's worth my time at least... :)

And yes, it's a pleasant break from the cliched comedy or romance Manga/Anime I've been watching for the past 3 to 4 weeks...

P.S. Yes, I was too lazy to post images/screenshots for the 2nd and 3rd movies.... -___- I mean, it's a headache taking screenshots. Then again, this is a Rated 18+ anime, hence there are many screensots I can't post because of the excessive violence or nudity... Also, the images are a respective copyrights of their owner, and I do not own them :P

Tears not Alone

A shade of grey,
In the month of May,
A time of waiting,
That seems too long.
A shade of blue,
My time with you,
A time I had then,
Now seems too wrong.

A shade of grey,
In the empty fray,
A time that doesn't
Seem to go on.
A shade of Yellow,
That once felt mellow,
A feeling so distant,
That absconds.

So now I seem to think,
My mind doesn't blink,
In doubt or in pain.
I know what has gone,
Has gone beyond me,
An empty hope that,
doesn't abandon me.
At least these feelings that I've grown,
Are with this irrepairable pain.
At least my tears are not alone,
They're falling with the rain.

A shade of Red,
That was once a thread,
A bond that felt strong,
Had broken before long.
A shade of Green,
That was so serene,
A feeling so pure,
That could play like a song.

A shade of Red,
Now fall with dread,
A life that wasn't,
supposed to be.
A shade of blue,
Now comes to ensue,
A life that wasn't
meant to be.

So now I think,
Without a blink,
Without doubts or pain.
I know what has gone,
Has gone beyond me,
And I'll go there,
Tough hell should stop me.
At least this feeling that I've grown,
Is dripping away with this pain,
At least my tears are not alone,
They are falling with the rain.

At least my tears are not alone,
They are falling with my blood...
   ...upon a cold stone.

==================================
Author's Notes
---------------------
I thought I'd try writing a sad poem/song type of thing. Primarily because I was feeling extremely frustrated over myself about something (I won't rant about it... -__- I usually never do...) so I decided to take it out by writing something extremely sad. :-| Then I have it attested by Mr. V (who tells me that it was good) and then decide to post it here... :)

Oh well... I was never good with poems, but I feel I have done well this time...

P.S. No one told me that I'd written is 2 times in one line... :-|

My Custom Anime Mug...

Well, being such an ardent fan of Anime/Manga as I am... I couldn't help but write about it.
Today, I recieved my Customized Ceramic Mug. I just paid Rs. 50 for it (which is just a little over a dollar) and naturally it has an anime theme picture printed on it :D

I thought I'd share a couple of pics here...

Yes... the cup has Two swordswomen (and one of them is Saber <3 ). I dunno the other character but she looks like Mio from K-ON. The overall pic is actually a wallpaper that I use as my Windows 7 logon screen (where we enter the username and password before using the computer). But I added the lines "Angels of Death" To the left and right black strips that showed up.

How did I get this Mug?? Oh. Well... there is this site called http://www.myntra.com/ which has a offer currently going on. If you register for the first time, then you will get a white ceramic mug free that you can customize to your liking. And I added "The most coolest wallpaper" I had (After a bit of Photoshopping). The actual cost of this mug was Rs. 249 (+ Rs. 50 shipping). But with the above offer, I just had to pay for the shipping :) For the quality of the print on the mug, this offer was a complete steal. And then Rs. 300 for a customized mug is not a bad deal anyway.

By the end of it... I guess I have something for girls with swords. I dunno why, but it's downright sexy :)

I've uploaded the original Image I had printed because it's awfully difficult to take pictures of a mug that too of the whole picture. So, I've uploaded the original image I gave them to print.

Now, I can make my own anime/manga merchandise, and enjoy some nice tea/coffee while I'm at it. :D
And I recommend that other anime/manga fans reading my blog do so too. :)
Oh. Non-anime/manga fans should take advantage of this offer as well :)

Back after a lot of things... like Studios!!

Initially, I was on Hiatus because I was having exams...

But soon, things turned ugly and my computer blew up (Once again... T_T) and had to spend 15 to 20 days without it.

Yes, I would have come here 15 days earlier, but fate had something else in store for me. So, my 15 days went by in a form of creativity I never imagined I'd involve myself into. First, I actually tried (despite all my laziness) completing all the stories I stored up in my mind. Second, a friend of mine wrote and authored a song. He then dragged me to a recording studio so that I can co-author and arrange the music for him. So, this became my first experience in a recording studio and though it was interesting, it wasn't pretty. Thirdly, finally the ultra lazy Mr. V decided to make a move and the two of us have co-authored a script for a short movie which he hopes to complete by the end of this semester.

For now, I'll stick to my Ordeal at the recording studio. :D

Studio Chronicles

My friend Arjit one day calls me up and says I have to come to his home with my keyboard. I was hesitant, but then I agreed. I went to his home (which is about 36 Kms away from my hostel and is a one hour bus ride + 15 mins on auto+10 mins of walking) carrying my keyboard. I enter and meet this girl from Delhi University (forgot which one...). "She will be the vocalist for our song." he said. "What song?" I reply back.

He takes out is new iPod Touch and then shows me a note. It's a poem. And then he plays a guitar riff. "So?" I ask. "So what?" he asks back. Then the day goes ahead, and by the end of the day, I had to understand the girl's scale (Her name was Neha Ella BTW :P forgot to mention it sorry...) and arrange chords according to her comfort and style. Amazingly they suited.

We then did a few Jam sessions in Jam Pads. And then one day he calls me saying that we were ready for studio. "What Studio." I ask him back. "Arey... the one I told you about." he replies back. Indeed. He did tell me he was interested in recording a song in some studio he told me about, but I never imagined in my dreams that he'd actually do it. But then, I was asking more question he could answer (like what software and hardware he was using, etc) so I simply agreed to come.

Then came the next trouble. Neha drops out at the last moment and she says that her mom won't let her do the recording. I'm unable to contact her directly so I ask Arjit. He says her mom refused because each of us had to pay Rs. 1500 for the studio recording. I look at him. I ask him "Meaning I had to pay too right." "Right." is what he replies. I grab him by the collar and shake him good. "You @#$%&~!!! You're supposed to tell this important stuff earlier!!"

Somehow, he decides he'll sing the song. Then we go on a monday and for the first time in my life, I entered a professional studio. "It's a small studio but it has all the professional equipments you'll need to record a song." is what Mr. Studio-wala says. Ah! yes. His name was Mr. Pradeep. A very nice fellow I must say.

But I could see the professional instruments he had. A Tama drumkit (the one Metallica uses for live shows.), A Yamaha Keyboard and synthesizer, recoding microphones (That cost over Rs. 90,000 or $1,900 a piece), a Mixing and effects kit of Yamaha, An 8 core Intel Xeon II based Apple Mac (2x2 Quad core Xeons) with a huge LCD screen and 4 External Hard Drives of 1 Terabyte each. He also had effects processors, compressors and High Grade Filters too.

If you didn't understand what I wrote in the para above, then in short and easy language, his recording equipment left me speechless and in complete awe.

The recording goes on for two days (read as sessions) and the first session, we only managed to record a dummy track and finalized only on the drum beats that our drummer recorded. (His name was Naman BTW. I'd let you know before I forgot his name as well.). We could only do this much on our first day because the drummer wasn't used to playing drums while listening to metronomes. And no matter what you record, you have to wear a headphone and play by the tempo of the metronome. If the timing or tempo wavered even a bit, we had to redo it from the beginning. The drummer had a hard time cause he's not trained by the metronome.

Then the next day, we record the keyboards and bass (Which was done by Mr. Prashant) separately using metronome. Then the electric and acoustic guitars. And finally my keyboarding.

And here I became were enthusiastic because I got to use a really old, but gorgeous Yamaha PSR 1000 Keyboard. I only gave some background ambiance and chords in the song. I was also asked to give an intro. I did give one but now I'm not at all happy with it cause both Mr. Pradeep and Naman said that it reminded them of some old Bollywood song. (I curse them for not letting me redo a new intro...). However, everyone liked it. So, I let it pass there.

Now all that was left was the vocals. Arjit sung the song. Being a total amateur at singing he did a fair job. Though I must confess he sounded like Micheal Jackson.

Here are some pics of the recording studios :D

 The main tools used in this :D

 A great TAMA drumkits...

 Mr. Pradeep and his delicious Mac :D and a Yamaha Mixing Station.

 The drummer... Naman.

 Mr. Pradeep and... eh... excuse my ultra serious expression...

 Arjit and his Guitar used for this recording. :D It's a Jackson.

After about 12 takes on the keyboard... we had to turn up the AC to more cooling.

After all this, our band (which was named "Finger Nozzle" and I came to know about it after we had finished recording.) officially finished recording and now all that is left is the mixing. Once the mixing is over, we will have our first demo track ready for release (of course after getting through all the copyright and stuff). Until all that is done, I won't be able to post it on this blog or youtube. But one day I will and hopefully it's not far off.

Until then, please allow me to post the lyrics of the song that Arjit wrote. (Even I saw a bit of grammatical error in this... but I don't give a damn about it... >:D )

The Chosen One

-----------------------

He was born,

The day sun brightly shone.

He was welcomed as the king of kings,

When an angle held him; in her wings.

He was born,

Born as the Chosen One.

Destined to be in Pain,

Ordained to the suffering.

Finding the key to mortality,

Desperation seeking the truth.

He's foiled by loved,

Thwarted by belongingness.

He was born,

Born as the Chosen One.

Destined to be in Pain,

Ordained to the suffering.

He got something left undone,

Left deep within in his heart,

Got to ask before he's doomed,

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE ME!!

P.S  Well, I never show my photos to anyone, cause I have this "Damn them all" kind of expression on my face all the time. It's scary...

Evolution of Music - Floating Away

14th March, 2009

Dear Reader,

How have you been? Things are a little troublesome down here. With strikes within our college and growing enmity between the students and the management, our college is closed down until further notice. So this time I really didn't have any interesting experience to tell. Me and few of my friends went shopping one day and shopped and shopped until we dropped :D

Thus, today, all I can do to keep this small letter interesting is to tell you my experience in making music. No, I wouldn't even call it 'making music'. Unlike the professionals who have spent days and days learning music before becoming a full fledged composer/musician; I didn't have any training in any form of music. I've learnt a lot through experimentation, internet and some through my brother's knowledge of Guitar. So I really can't say that I make music or that I'm a knowledgeable composer/musician. Rather my head comes up with a random melody. If I happen to record it on my computer, then starts a wonderful, boring and slow process of evolution. Yes, My music evolves. Just like the way you and me are growing up or have grown up to be what we are right now, my music grows and evolves to be what it is right now.

When I'm not listening any music, my mind subconsciously arranges melodies that even I myself haven't heard of. One day, when I really had nothing better to do, I sat down on the computer and created a rather simple pattern of musical chords. Somehow, the chords coming from a single instrument gave me a serene feeling... as if I was dreaming. However, at that time it simply didn't feel like I had arranged the music. I saved it and then listened to it on repeat mode. Soon, a few more melodies came to my mind. I recorded them with a bass guitar type instrument and bell type instruments. Before I realized, it was already 2 hours when I was adding more and more melodies to the chords along with a drum beat pattern. I felt a bit sleepy and saved whatever I had made that time. But before going to sleep, I recorded it and saved it. While saving it, I named it "Floating Away" because everytime I heard it, I felt like I was floating away to a completely different dream like world.

This way, "Floating Away 01" was born. Listen to it on the music player below. You may not feel the same way as me about this song. It's OK. After all it's not something made by a Pro Musician/Composer. But if you listen to it, then I'm sure you'll agree with me that it is very plain and simple. It hasn't got many instruments and there isn't any special effects in it either.

However, a few days later, I heard the recording again. And this time more melodies came to my head. I worked another 2 hours or so before I felt satisfied with it. This time "Floating Away 01" grew into what you probably know as "Floating Away 02". I'm sure you've heard it by now. It's in the main Music Player in my blog page. I've also put this song in the music player below, so that you can feel the evolution of "Floating Away 01" into "Floating Away 02". You'll realize that "Floating Away 02" has many more instruments that "Floating Away 01", and you might not have noticed, but I added some effects too. It has more complex rhythms and patterns than "Floating Away 01".

Nonetheless, I still wasn't satisfied with "Floating Away 02". It didn't have a intro or so I felt. So a few days ago, I sat down and once again added a few more melodies to "Floating Away 02" along with lots of special effects and filters. Now, it's a lot like what I wanted it to be. I wanted a intro that should give one a feeling of slowing entering a dream like world; and then suddenly the dreamer comes into a beautiful Utopia. But still, I'm not totally satisfied with it. I think I've added too many instruments and effects. It's making the song "too full" to be felt. Thus I've added a INC tag to it which means Incomplete. It's also in the music player below named as "Floating Away 03".

I'm sure by now you would have realized how different "Floating Away 01" is different from "Floating Away 02". This difference is a lot like a small child that looks very different when he/she grows up to be a adolescent. "Floating Away 02" isn't much different from "Floating Away 03 when you listen to it. But it's more complete and hopefully more mature like a grown up and experienced adult.

Did you feel how Floating Away evolved from a simple one and a half minute tune to a 3 minute, and professional sounding song?

Oh well. It seems now I must close off. The guys here want me to play counter strike now. But I'll keep writing to you, so wait for my letters and hopefully more songs/music. There might just be a "Floating Away 04" too. :)
Also, I'll be looking forward to your replies.

Yours truly,
Selenium Glow

Attached below -> list of all versions of "Floating Away" ever made.

Go To FileFactory.com

-> Download and listen to Floating Away 01
-> Download and listen to Floating Away 02
-> Download and listen to Floating Away 03

Awards??

I'm so totally new (and scared) of this award system in blogsphere. Well, a couple of days ago, I got a ton of awards from Samadrita and received one tonight from Ayu, and I had recieved a couple of awards from Chocolover as well.

Well, I'll be frank here. I thank all these people for giving me awards (naturally because they liked something about me or my blog), but the award system scares me O_O. I dunno... maybe it's nervousness or shyness or whatever the psycho(logist)s call it... None the less, being such a popular thing in Blogsphere, I'd mention my thanks and the awards I receive from the person.

1) From Samadrita -> She Gave me the following awards. Thanks a ton for them :)

2) From Ayu -> She passed on to me 2 awards ->

But then, there are rules to accept this award ->
1. List 10 things that make you happy,
2. Pass it on to 10 happy bloggers.
3. Notify the nominees about this Happy Award.
So,
I'm having a tough time remembering 10 things that make me happy. For now, all I can think of was Anime/Manga and a full roll of Polo... But don't worry Ayu, I'll definitely remember ten things that can make me happy and then I'll pass this on to 10 other people. :)

...


Reading blogs also makes me happy sometimes, so that's 3 points now...




3) From Chocolover -> Well, I remember getting one recently and one she passed to all her followers a couple of months back. ->

Thanks a lot :)


======================================
So, finally. Now what?
I'm feeling like a oscar winner who wasn't expecting all this... O_O
Do I say "Thank you Mom, Thank you Dad. It's because you gave me a computer that..." and say stuff randomly.
I don't know, but of what I observe, I'm to pass these awards or my own original award to my fellow blogger buddies. So wait until I make a new award. I'm learning to use the Adobe Creative Suite now a days. :D I'm sure I'll make something great with it :D No... I'm dying to make something great with it. :D After all, Adobe Creative Suite is what Makoto Shinkai (Creator of "5 Centimeters per Second") uses to make his animations :D